June 20, 2011 in Minimalist Parenting
What struck me about this article was the ‘shocking honesty’. I am both proud of her ability to come out and be honest about her feelings to herself and others (under a different name so her daughter is protected), and saddened that honesty like that is so rare and shocking. People don’t get trained or pass a test to be parents. It is hard to learn as you go. Every kid is different and none of them perfectly match a parenting book. Why is it so hard for parents, myself included, to admit that? It is another form of perfectionism that we are taught to act.
It was interesting reading the comments at the bottom of the post and the different ways people responded to it. There were several showing up every minute when I read the article this morning and they were filled with strong emotions. They ranged from people telling her she was a terrible mother all the way to people recalling their painful childhoods.
As a society I feel we have to have places and people we can talk to where we can shed the masks, the perfect fronts and simplify to honesty. Closets and houses full of stuff can be overwhelming, but holding up the person I feel I am expected to be all the time can be even worse.
I respect this mother. It is only when she (or I) can be honest with herself about where her parenting is at and admit there is problems that she can do something about it.