Image: David Castillo Dominici FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I felt like I really needed to write about this. Not because I have it figured out, but because it is something I struggle with.
Most of us know we need to let go of anger but it is everywhere. Family, work, siblings, and open up Facebook and there is anger everywhere… especially at the government. But anger is anger. Anger is bad. Anger helps nothing.
I was reading a few weeks ago and this verse popped out at me:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” — Ephesians 4:31
I think we could all agree this is a good idea but it sure isn’t easy.
As I have been thinking over the past few months, and dealing with a few bigger things that were making me mad, I realized that our anger is always over the fact that life isn’t fair – much like kindergarten kids.
She stole my toy is very close to
- why did they treat me that way
- they didn’t keep their end of the agreement
- they shouldn’t get away with that
- they aren’t doing their job
- I am not getting what I should get … or they aren’t getting ‘what is coming’ to them
Somewhere in our heads we have a vision of the world being fair but we all know it isn’t. This is silly right?
We spend physical and much more emotional energy, sleepless nights, hurtful words, and sometimes hurtful actions to somehow ‘make things fair’. All the while knowing that life isn’t fair and that we really can’t fix anything.
Letting go of anger isn’t the same as forgiveness – though forgiveness is important.
It isn’t admitting that someone is right
It doesn’t mean you won’t take steps to correct the problem.
It doesn’t mean you need to do relationship, business, or friendship with them again.
What it is instead is allowing the knowledge of the unfairness of the world to let you accept the action. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t happen again, but it did happen and now is the time to move on.
Actions in the past can’t be undone. Disputes cannot always be solved. But dwelling on the past or actions beyond our control is a waste of energy and life. Any energy spent in anger or revenge is energy directly taken from what can benefit our life and our future.
Some things are worth fighting for, but fighting for what is right can be a future focused thing and not fueled by anger.
… so have a cookie, and move forward.