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Simple Tip — Everyone Is Not The Enemy

Speaking of how we see each other I thought I would include some pictures of our kids doing face painting.  Cause every post is better with cute kids!

I wanted to write a post about how we see others.  As I sit here, I am not quite sure how/where to start or how to word it right, but I am going to give it a shot.

It is human nature to judge by first impressions.  There are tons of books and articles on interview presentation, blind or first dates, or even just how to dress and act everyday so that people will get a ‘good’ impression of me, pay me more, or think I am ‘simply fabulous’.   … there are also tons of books because making a wrong impression happens so often.

There is some wonderful truth in all this ‘self-help’ advice, but I wanted to tackle the other side of it–cataloging our first impressions of others.

Everyone is very different in personality, history, and even past hurts.  We use these and other things to create our first impressions of others.  Some people, I feel I will love right away and some just repel me.  Being a woman who is very leery of my children’s protection, I am very glad, and trust, my intuition about some people. I keep my kids away from them.

I want to talk about all the people in between, and I want to suggest that I/we will benefit from dumping people into the first group more often then the second.

Just like our thankful thinking changes our reality so do our first impressions.

Both kids wanted to be clowns

I am sure you know people who are leery of everyone, who question everyone’s motives, who are distrusting and who believe the world is out to get them.   Their world is dark, about to end, and everyone is in it together against them.  They see everyone as selfish, and trying to manipulate them to get something.  These people are miserable and stressful to be around.

I find it much easier to find this in other people than in myself 🙂  Seeing it in other people recently in how I have been judged on minimal first impressions, has helped remind me to really look at myself and question how I am judging others when I really know very little about them.

It might even be for selfish motives.  The world I/we live in is largely created in our own minds.  ‘Is the glass half full or half empty’ makes up a huge part of our known reality.  I  have seen or done myself negative first impressions based on:

  • name
  • friends
  • cloths
  • facial expression
  • location
  • color
  • marital status
  • few words out of their mouth I overhear
  • nationality
  • kids behavior
  • present company

and probably lots more.  What if, given only these superficial bits of information, I think the best of them instead of the worse.

On a side note, as I made this list I thought of Jesus.  Judged on some of these things he had a weird, unheard of name, rough friends, expensive cloths, hung out in questionable places with ‘bad’ people, probably a terrorist… and having serious personality issues for not being married in his 30’s.  He could have been caught with lots of strong emotions on his face and/or strange words out of his mouth.

This is a simple tip more than a ‘global fuzzy’ (not that I am against that either).  I am going at this for a practical, maybe selfish, reason.  I can’t change others in order to simplify my life, but I can change the way I see others, and in turn, create a much simpler and fun life.  There is truth in surrounding oneself with friends who are supportive and positive, but part of this might be fixing our own eyes and perspective before we try and fix others.

Happy simple living!

Here is my hubby while he was playing with Ian at the Children’s Museum

Loving Simple Living posts 6 days a week.  Like this post?  Come back next week for an update on our simple living experiment. 

4 Comments

  1. Megan Taylor Megan Taylor

    What a wonderful blog, I really enjoyed reading it. I believe that over the last 10 years this world has become more judgemental. We as a society have become so focused on having more and wanting more that we have thrown many stereotypes on others as well. We end up judging others based on what they have rather than who they are. I have found that when I stopped wanting more and thinking I needed the best of things then I also stopped looking at others in such a harsh and judementle way. Simplifing ones life has a way of changing it as well. When we alow God to clean out the clutter and junk in our own lives we also allow him to help us see the world through His eyes. Just my opinion.

    • oh, I agree. Thanks for the comment. What I try and figure out is if society is really changing or if it is just us changing in how we see it. I am sure different ages deal with different views of society… maybe we are just getting to an age where we are understanding more… that sounds old 🙂

  2. I love this! I laughed out loud on the part “Being a woman who is very leery of my children’s protection, I am very glad, and trust, my intuition about some people. I keep my kids away from them.”

    On a serious note, I enjoyed this post merely because I (with my parents and siblings) experienced so much of the “judging” this year. We moved to a new place with a very high spirit and expectations, only to be judged by people because they wonder where we came from and what the heck is the problem that we moved so suddenly to a new place? Haha! I mean, how come people judge you so wrong when you try being nice to them, right? It’s painful though we could laugh at it now… And yes, the best part there is to reflect on yourself how you have judged other people as well. It takes up a lot of “pride swallowing” to admit we might be worst than them before. But thank Jesus for all the example he has shown us… It hurts me to pieces that he has to experience that. But at the same time grateful because it keeps our eyes opened on the fact that we don’t have to judge people harshly unless they’ve proven themselves unworthy.

    Big hugs to you my dear! Look at those kids! Can’t get enough of their precious faces!!!

    • so sorry you went through that. My experience wasn’t that bad, but I care so much what other people think of me that it was hard. Everything we face, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn and grow…. we just spend more time focused on the bad, because that is just the way people are, that we probably learn more from that end 🙂

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