Have you ever been bullied? Called names? Second guessed?
A few weeks ago at a birthday party a few of us were talking about kids and trouble with bullying at school. All of us could remember being bullied or called names at some point. We were all affected by it – some more than others.
This isn’t surprising. This is kids. This is just part of living on our planet.
I heard it one time explained with a lobster example. Disclaimer: I know nothing about lobsters. The illustration explained the bucket or box (or whatever they put lobsters in) doesn’t need a lid. If one lobster tries to climb out other lobsters will climb on them to get out and pull them down. By pulling each other down to get ahead none of them find freedom.
Why do we act like these lobsters?
This kind of thinking and behavior is terrible and lasts long past childhood. As adults we just do it differently. We have mature ways of crawling on others and trying and get to the top. It can be constructive criticism (without the constructive intent) or can come in the form of gossip. It can come by treating others as less important than yourself or with prejudice.
All of these bullying actions not only hurt those who they are directed at, but they also hurt us. They create a negative attitude and have us fighting to establish and protect our self-worth. They come out of and develop a scarcity mentality instead of an abundance mentality. They affect us even if we don’t speak them and only think them. We are affected by the negativity of our words and thoughts even if the person we direct them at doesn’t ever hear them. Crazy right?
We are the stupid lobsters trying to get somewhere but only falling back into the bucket.
Because we are all hurt and this damage has affected everyone we can’t just be indifferent to others so to remedy this problem. Because so many have been torn down we need instead to fill our thinking, actions, and words with the opposite.
To quit pulling others down we need to actively find ways to push them up.
Starting with the voice inside our head we need to push others up. What we think ends up being what say and how we act. The crazier thing is that it is proven and preached in religion and business (and probably other areas) this is the way to really get ahead. We know it and write about it, but few of us really practice it.
This is hard. I hate to admit it but this is something I struggle with. Logically as I think through the cute illustrations and type away on the keyboard it all sounds good and clear, but when I look at my life – what I think and what I talk about to friends it sure has more lobster than it should.
So I will work, practice, and pray on my end but I wanted to share with you as well… cause that is what I do here 🙂
Want to practice? Want to leave some good notes about someone else in the comments? (if you are reading RSS join us in the comments)
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