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A Note To Myself

Note To Myself - Night in TaiwanMuch of my writing, most of my books, and my reason for blogging is about writing for myself.  I would love to say I have everything figured out, but I don’t.  I struggle with the concepts I talk about and writing them out helps me organize my thoughts.

I share my online journal with you in hopes that it can help you as well.

Since so often I write concepts directed at others, I wanted to write specifically on what I am struggling with this week

…in a note to myself.

Dear Lorilee,

Live, love, trust, play, and be comfortable with who you are.  You take on so many things and get yourself in the middle of so many great projects and then quickly feel overwhelmed.  The things you are doing, and trying to do, are good things but you need to realize that taking them all on is ambitious.

Don’t get down on yourself when things don’t work out the way you want.  If you didn’t take on such ambitious goals than much less would be accomplished.

This is your talent, your gift.

You are a dreamer and love doing things.  Rest in it and realize you will never do all your dreams, but you will have accomplished much on the way.

Quit trying so hard to be liked and prove yourself.

Most people on the planet are doing the same thing.  The people you are worried about pleasing are probably worried about trying to please people like you and make sure people like them.  Like yourself and move on with life 🙂

‘You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you’ (Stuart Smalley).

You might not always know what you are doing and that is okay.  Experience isn’t something required in life… those with experience are dead now.  You have the choice between trying, and possibly failing, or not trying at all and guaranteeing nothing is accomplished. Don’t let your pride and fear slow you down.

You don’t need other people to believe in who you are and what you do to validate your worth.  God believes in what you can do and who you can become in Him and that is all you need.

Because you understand the longing for validation spread it to other people by showing how you believe in them.

You are not a perfect parent

…but let the that motivate you to connect with your kids even more.  Listen to them, show them you believe in them, trust them as they grow up.  This is very important to you but it is also one of the hardest parts of your life.  Don’t let other things that appear easier squeeze out the time you need to spend parenting.

Books and theories don’t make a parent – practice does.

You are not a perfect person.  The drive to be closer to perfect is not bad because it allows for growth.  Use the drive for growth as a tool in your life instead of a ‘master’.  Motivation is a gift when you pair it with contentment.

You will never know the ‘right’ answer or the ‘right’ way for sure, …or you probably won’t know it for sure… I’m not sure on that.

There are always many good options.  You will always have questions.  You have the choice to stress over what to do or take action. Pray to be led, but don’t use prayer as an excuse to not move forward.

God is the most important thing in your life.

Allow yourself to live like it.

Trust, pray, spend time with God, but as you do it, make sure it is authentic.  Don’t get bogged down with sub-culture, tradition, or trying to prove yourself and your worth to God.  God loves you!  Your walk with God is different – it is yours.  It doesn’t have to look a specific way or fit into a specific mold.  Take direction and guidance from spiritual leaders you respect (because the church body is important) but realize that many people’s spiritual expectations are not directions given by God to you.

Allow God to be the center of your life and the reason you are living.  Pray for it and don’t be ashamed of it.  Allow yourself to rest in His love and His acceptance of you.  Be filled with these and give these same gifts to others in your life – sometimes deserving, and sometimes not.

Try not to compare yourself with others. And when you do, because unfortunately it is human nature, don’t make decisions based on your comparisons.  Allow yourself both confidence and contentment.

Take time to rest. Take time for your family. Spend some time doing something unproductive occasionally.


Follow your passion, follow the things that make you feel alive (these are more likely the things that are scary than the things that are easy), and offer all of it as a sacrifice to God.

This is true living and it is so much fun!

When you aren’t feeling alive, when you are feeling overwhelmed, or when you feel you are neglecting things that are most important to you, re-evaluate. There is enough time in life for what you are supposed to do, but not enough time for the clutter.

Learn to love and believe in yourself,


What have you been struggling with in the past week?

If you wrote a note to yourself, what would you say?


  1. I love this–I think we all struggle with the issues that we write about. I blog about my struggles, for two reasons. First, it helps me to see that I’m not alone, and second, it helps my readers to see that they are not alone.

    Together, we’ll figure out this thing called life.

    If I wrote myself a note today, it would say: Bethany, stop dwelling on the past and get out there and enjoy your new life, in this sunny place with palm trees! You don’t feel like you deserve it, but here you are, so you obviously do!

  2. Sandra Sandra

    I felt as if I was reading about myself. Thank you for your blog.

  3. Bethany Bethany

    Thanks so much for this blog post and for being so open and transparent. I have been struggling with many of these same issues, and I loved reading your thoughts. Your comment “Pray to be led, but don’t use prayer as an excuse to not move forward” really resonated with me. I do need to declutter – and not just the physical stuff lying around my house! Thanks again!

  4. Hello Lorilee, I have read quite a few of your posts, but this is your best work. Just like Sandra said, I too felt like I was reading it to yourself. Thanks and take care!

  5. Your thoughts and feelings are experienced by us all at one time or another. It is good to be reminded that our harshest critic is within our own mind and that we should lighten up. We would if it were a friend.

  6. Elizabeth Elizabeth

    It’s so therapeutic writing a letter to yourself, isn’t it? I think when you stop and counsel yourself, thinking about it from an outsider’s perspective, we can see ourselves with more compassion. I like reading how others see themselves too 🙂 Makes me go, “Oh! You feel that way too?”

    One thing I’m struggling with is being alright with the unknown – exploring new experiences or new skills and not knowing how it might turn out. I like to be fully prepared for just about everything, but sometimes you just gotta jump in not knowing where a path might lead.

  7. Nancy Nancy

    Lorilee – Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts. It’s good to take the time to write to yourself, and encourage yourself with the very wisdom you share with others. I know it is helpful and healing because, I wrote myself a letter just this week.
    It is so easy to get caught up with the business of life and the many daily demands and distractions, that we find ourselves exhausted off-track and discouraged. You are beautiful child of God. Remember this above all things and be true to yourself!! When we do this all of life makes more sense.

  8. Wow…look at that….turns out you’re a good writer too! 🙂

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